Life In A Tricolor

2011-12-14T13:22:00.000-08:00

Sunshine that bathes in the rain, heart that loves and mind that hates, walking in heaven with chains, peace that calms and silence that enslaves...
There’s nothing like long lasting ‘Absolute’. We’d always hang between the white and the black. We’d aimlessly amble around the grey...

A return back Home

2011-08-07T23:07:00.000-07:00

Its like coming back home....

No matter how far i wander,
what I do ,
where i go,
how happy i get,
how deep i swim into the blue,
who all i meet,
who all i resist,
how great i feel about existence,
how miserable world appears,
sunrise,
sunset,
love,
hate.

Ultimately i come back Home.....

My Home is You!

All that I need!

2011-07-24T05:19:00.000-07:00

I need to rejoice for long,
I need a place to belong,
I need some drops of rain,
I need a chance to believe again,
I need a sky to fly,
I need a sweet lie,
I need color of the grass,
I need an unapproved pass,
I need a song of joy,
I need a child's toy,
I need the rain of May,
I need a runway,
I need a selfless day out,
I need an untamed shout,
I need an open road,
I need a welcome abode,
I need no goal no aim,
I need a nameless name,
I need blind love,
I need the God above.
I need a good omen,
I need to feel human...

Light of Dark

2011-07-19T23:47:00.000-07:00

We are all puppets in the hands of the Master. Sometimes the thread breaks and we have a free fall; and in that epoch before we batter the ground and bleed, some of us drift with the moment of absolute bliss...

Crap happens!

2011-07-09T08:14:00.000-07:00

I'm getting to hear a lot of good news lately; and that's hows i know its not in the season!! Its actually me only who's life is screwed right now...:|

For days to come...

2011-05-25T22:25:00.000-07:00

His words of appreciation were like water in a desert; less but precious. He was far away and whenever his thoughts found a pathway of words, it felt as if they traveled miles to reach her.So she caressed them then and forever. The distance made them all the more special. In fact, the farther he went, nearer he drew; sweeter were the words, louder were those moments of silence that made way for the most immortal lines. It felt like cool breeze that embraces burned flesh for a few seconds on a hot summer day and makes a human sanguine of the season. Those words, amidst the distance, then, become her savior for days to come...

.....

2011-04-30T23:47:00.000-07:00

"it is never too late"!! What do they mean by this, n why I'm not able to feel the essence of it.... ?

New blog!

2011-04-03T02:27:00.001-07:00

I have started a new blog 'Intrinsic Odyssey'. It's basically for the poetry and the songs. Maybe someday i'll give them tunes:). But rightnow, i got to hurry up. Going to mall road, yippiiieee:). Ciao:).

.....so she confessed....

2011-01-24T21:26:00.000-08:00

"Today, it’s the last time. Yes, I’ll never call him again."
She murmured after constantly rambling around her thoughts. She typed his number; something she had learned by heart. After several trials of typing-erasing-typing-erasing the number, she ultimately gathered some strength and pressed the key.

"Hello!"

“Hi”, he said after a few seconds, as if he couldn’t believe it was her.

"Can we meet today for some time?"

"Yes! Are you okie?"

"I am fine. When will u come?"

“15 minutes". He replied abruptly; excitedly, thoughtlessly.

"Okie, i ll be waiting"

She hung up before he could say anything more. Drenched in nervousness, she was breathing heavily, her foot constantly thumped the floor. It was after 8 months she heard his voice. She rehearsed what she wanted to say once again. The phone rang......

It was him.....

He said he was waiting outside. After quickly wrapping a maroon 'dupatta' around her neck, she looked into the mirror. Even in such a critical state of her senses, she wanted to look good.... He was the only guy she wanted to look the best for....He was the one she desired appreciation of.

Her mind had a million battling thoughts. However, it was important to decide which one makes sense to the world outside her. The revolting thoughts instantly stopped when she found him standing right in front of her.

She didn't know if she was happy, sad, angry, broken or what. Recollecting herself, she asked him if they could sit in his car. She came straight to the topic after settling down.

"Why have u done this," she asked.

"I don't know what else to do," he answered in the most humble way; in a powerless tenor.

For she believed him so much, she didn't want to hurt him with more questions. Rather inside her, she had no query; she only thought of going the world's way of posing questions. Such curiosity can give you either bitter answers or no answers at all. She realized it’s only good to give no damn to the questions and live the moment here with him. Perhaps the last one....

She was at peace with her state, her end; though sometimes heartache did tickle the fragile, always protected and pampered daddy’s girl. Else, it was a good feeling that she was once loved, and somewhere she knew she still was.

He switched on a CD to kill the weird silence. They talked about music... Their story was like a song; it had started this way. Now he is her favourite song and to her, it is an everlasting melody.

It was time to go, the final goodbye. For the first time that day, he looked deeply into her eyes. His small brown eyes looked helpless. She on the other hand was delighted for a reason unknown. She murmured him a goodbye and touched his hand to feel he was not a dream; that he really did exist.

Just when she opened the door to go out, she heard his mellow voice, “I love you”. The words made no difference to her. Had it even been the words of hatred coming from him, they would have failed to knock her already ripened emotions down.

She got down the car without saying a single extra word and decided not to look back. Just after getting out of that afterglow, she realized she didn't say what she actually had to.....She just closed her eyes and confessed it to the eternity instead.

"I feel I am you. Each second, I love you more."

Snow snow

2011-01-15T09:22:00.000-08:00

...........n the hills are snowed up today :). I stayed in n totally missed out the fun i could have had in snow..... I was sulking in my cocoon; writing, eating....

Going back to the hostel tomorrow after almost a month.... Lets see what comes up!! :)... Bubye!!

Ishleeeeeep....

2011-01-09T09:22:00.000-08:00

This is my 5th years in hostel and i have grown tremendously. Besides this, i have learned loads and tonnes of things. One of them is how to not sleep early. Now i m home on a holiday and i just don't seem to break the habit. So every night i get into bed early as instructed by Mumma Papa, draw my curtains apart and gaze at the stars while mind keeps fuming into an open space or at times its absolutely empty. However, today its different. Windows are closed but cold wind has found its way in from some small hole:). Lets hope for some snow tomorrow in the town or atleast on the mountain ranges visible from our new house:). But whatever, its very chilly in Cutie Shimla and today, for a change, i want to sleep right away. Bon nui to you all. Time for me to sink in:)

Here's a photograph i took day before yesterday from my home!!

............

2010-07-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

Hear what i say, understand what i can't........ Believe me not when i convince u to accept the lie, believe the truth u n I know........ blame me not for words, accept me for the song only ur heart can listen to.......

...............today..........

2010-06-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

i wish i had u............ to express it all, to recollect the year that went by waiting...... befriending the tribulation, morbidity n an adamant hope that one day we ll frame a dream castle n rest in till we design another........

'Leaving on a jet plane'..........bringing memories to life.......

Thank u unwanted memories for making ur way out....

2010-06-08T23:30:00.000-07:00

It's an achievement when u forget something u wanted to forget.........unintentionally!! Its a relief when u see those undeserving memories moving out of ur mind and heart on their own....

The Day!

2010-05-20T07:03:00.000-07:00

It was a lovely day. Went out for lunch with Sonali, saw cutie Maaaxxxiii (he is such a cute Saint Bernard. I want to kidnap u boy:P), got my head banged against one of the all-time low roofs of the Rock Garden( but it was not the first time so its okie), had fun sitting at the back of Sonali's scooty n then laughing my lungs out with her etc etc...
However, the pure bliss began with those smiles on some unknown faces that in turn made me smile at the treasure i have.... Time traveled back, maybe it was always in the rewind mode, but today it was in slow motion; like an in dept investigation of each word said, dissection of every alphabet uttered, without hurting the sophistication of the meanings.....It enticed all that i tried to forget and invited in a realisation that if something doesn't come my way, it means that it's going the other way to someone else; there's someone else to catch it and take care of it, just like i would have done.......It brought in an exhilaration that the time i once lived was, is and will always be there in catastrophes when i would find it hard to breathe and perhaps decide to break down in the face of crucial circumstances....A reminiscence that will never die out but will always be a reason to bring the best out of me, now and till the time i can carry it and make the journey more allusive, with the visual absence of it's reason but presence of a memory that will never forget this day...
...Peace!

Crossroads.........

2010-05-08T23:18:00.000-07:00

There’s a comfort in Strangeness...strange people, strange things, strange places, strange narrow alleys....things i don’t know n will never know.....there’s nothing i can give them n there’s nothing they can give to me....if we talk, we will not question (negative), we would just be curious to know the mystery behind each others' life...In all, they ll remain strangers....they won't be missed when i move ahead but they ll always be a part of the memory lane i walked on, without a wrist watch, without worries of reaching the destination, without the fear of the night, without the angst of evil........But Free Will....Into the unknown.....

...Peace!

iiiiiggggjjjjaaaammmssss

2010-04-29T09:17:00.000-07:00

so i have final exams starting up from tomorrow n this is not the first time today that i m online. I've been facebook-ing, n editing some photographs, just to tell myself that everything is normal (when its not coz i m actually forgetting all that i ve read, but its happens everytime no?) But WHATEVER!

i m doing Guilford's theory of intelligence side by side, its interesting but i dnt know how to remember all those things (dimenshion?) he has talked of. I m finding myself getting very serious at one point n the other time i m all free bird kinds, playing music loudly (not THAT loudly i mean, i don't want to be doomed by the co-hostelers, oh it would be such an uneventful death).

MAy all the intelligence that guilford, cattell, sternberg have talked about get into our brains tomorrow n may we be emotionally intelligent coz whatever learning we have done, it has more or less given us Motivaton to do better tomorrow...........i still don't know what i m doing here........May all go well tomorrow (yeah yeah i know what u r about to say "if u stay online here, EVERYTHING WILL FALL IN PLACE"), time for me to say adios, kal phir milenge paka:).

...Peace!

The peak of the low........

2010-04-19T09:21:00.000-07:00

My views are changing and i don't want them to stop. They are rushing from one descending degree to the other. Soon they would be below 0 and i'd be phlegmatic. Its a sordid wish; I want them to undergo a rigorous and harsh rearrangement. Those ideas and decisions should be punished, even though its not their mistake, but its indeed a warning. Apathy, sometimes, is relieving in some bizarre way. It doesn't give me a chance to get mad, and to hate.....

Song....

2010-04-08T05:09:00.001-07:00

I wrote this a few months back (Phase- The Apprentice), working on the tune now (yeah i m not that good but i can try;) ....

Is there a way
u can hear what i can't say,
is there a way
i may hear u say u still love me....?

i wish i could undo those things,
to feel free,
n if i could
i would have never asked for a way
u can hear me speak....

is there a way
i can ask u to be mine
n ask u to make me urs....?

is there a way
u can give me ur pain,
n take away all that
He has to bless me with......?

is there a way,
u can let me hold ur hand,
so that i never let u go again....?

is there a way
i can tell u i m with u,
in all ur trials n hardship....?

is there a way,
i can hear u sing,
is there a way,
u ll sing a love song......?

if not,
then is there a way
i can live with ur thoughts
n heart that beats just for u, forever....?

is there a way,
or just one chance
that i can tell u
i love u.....?

:)

2009-12-04T08:20:00.000-08:00

CHILDHOOD----------

The time when u thought ur teeth bleed because there's some insect stuck in between them....

when u had a strong belief that ur doll's hair would gradually get longer if u oil them......

when a birthday wish to God was a toy u saw in that shopping mall but couldn't get it........

when being a doctor was ur aim for u didnt know of any other profession....

when u would get all so excited seeing a helicopter n cutely wave a "bye bye" to it........

when teacher was the only one u would ever listen to n follow orders of.........

when u would cry for getting a zero on a test....

when sitting on papa's shoulders made u feel like the king of the world.....

:)....Childhood..........when your ignorance was ur innocence.......

........threshold.......

2009-11-13T08:06:00.001-08:00

The threshold of detachment is insensitivity.... ecstasy n grief- both become neutral....friends, enemies- there's no one who actually bothers your existence.......you keep the heart out, mind in......feel less n think more.......expect nothing, accept everything.....give less, take less......see yourself and don't believe others.......look beyond the faces.......ignore the sweetness......challenge the bitter part of life......cry no more for your distrust wants to safeguard the importance of your pain........it looks for better reasons to mourn about......

........

2009-11-02T06:39:00.000-08:00

so much to express, to make these fuming thoughts verbal...... all i doubt r the words....they might fail to do justice to it.....

A thought!

2009-11-01T00:44:00.000-07:00

Ugliness n Beauty.....its all a thought... not a face....One thought changes it all...its when we understand the thought, we become blind to the face...its a nice blindness i believe.....

......it's all in the end.....

2009-10-31T05:13:00.000-07:00

There comes an episode in ur life when u find urself breaking into a million pieces, each thought shattering n falling on the earth so hard that it leaves u deaf. A long chain of merciless hours of just being there n seeing ur self undergoing a complete devastation is like never ending....or maybe u still stay there just to witness how everyone enters in and tramples on those broken shards...all that remains then r those lifeless pieces that u sit next to n moist them with the warmth of ur tears....

...this is one incomplete story... feel free to give it the end according to your own wish, promise, will n reality...the incredible fact is that this story belongs to all of us....only the endings differ...

.....picture abhi baaki hai mere dost:)

Random reflection....

2009-07-03T21:21:00.001-07:00

Relations r the sweetest till they r named..
Emotions are felt purely when they remain unsaid...

Feelings are purest and fully honest till they r expressed...
Love is strongest when it remains incomplete....

Legends never die...

2009-06-28T20:40:00.000-07:00

Untimely demise of the King of Pop Michael Jackson is a shock to the world, especially to the fans!! Although i never was fond of him, but i simply loved his songs 'will u be there' from Free Willy. It always brings me tears, i so wish having a dolphin as a friend n feel so connected with the song. Black or white was another track dear to me, but i always wondered why Jackson changed colour if he says it doesn't matter if u black or white. But keeping my questions aside song was ever so meaningful.

His songs have much relevance today. They could move the strongest of all- earth song, heal the world, n a song on an HIV infected child depict that not all live just for themselves..

There Are Ways
To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me
-----Heal the world

Through his music he said so much n as the music does to all, it wasn't hard to be emotional about the things happening around in the world. Here he proved music is not just for entertainment, to dance or sit back empty head, but to start thinking n contribute the world anyway we can. I have never been too much into his music, rather i turned off the radio whenever i heard 'Beat it' n never actually paid any heed to his music. But now when he is no more, i have been thinking of him for days.

The other day i was watching Javed Akhtar and Smokey paying tribute to MJ n his immortal music. They spoke of how he was not very successful in his family life, but how many of us knew he had 2 unsuccessful marriages or he was he had a hard life as a child? being honest, I never cared to know!! Maybe that never affected us because we know people for their work n not for what they do in their lives. We certainly cannot doubt MJ's music n.....well!! nothing else matters!!

Now when world has lost the father of Breakdance that every second boy wants to do,all we can do is pray for his soul n thank him for the music he left the world to ponder upon...Rest in Peace Michael!

In our darkest hour in my deepest despair
Will you still care? Will you be there?
In my trials and my tribulations
Through our doubts and frustrations
In my violence my turbulence
Through my fear and my confessions
In my anguish and my pain
Through my joy and my sorrow
In the promise of another tomorrow
I’ll never let you part for you’re always in my heart"
-OST Free Willy( Michael Jackson)

Waiting....

2009-06-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

We breathe in here,
the smog of separation n fear,
n the only prayer i make,
is to alter the vows we ever take.
Then lets turn our days into a song,
I sing n u play along,
change the whispers to shout,
from this game lets step out.
n the time that we ruined in decisions,
n planned ways of divisions,
lets call it back, lets call it back...

Sometimes....

2009-06-26T21:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes u construct a wall between two homes, two hearts, two people, just to see if they can break that wall someday.

Sometimes its better to change the track just to see who can go out of their way just to run with u.

Sometimes its better to create distances, just to see how close u r.

Sometimes it feels good to pray for death just to see how the one u love feels when u r no more.

Sometimes pain is good for it reminds u that u're still alive..

2009-06-11T04:07:00.000-07:00

His absence can be felt, every song he sang, each tune he played, every single word he said. She misses it all. How he would give her names so sweet.But wonders why he is quiet now, why he left so quick. If he were to go, why did he come, also thinking how life was before he came, He came to fill in more colors, to make it more beautiful, to fill in that space no one ever succeeded in occupying....

"this day 4 months back we met, it was Wednesday he told me he liked me, at 11:34 am he said he loves me, this same day i broke down n confessed i love him too, at 4 am i got up n wrote him a poem", she smiles thinking of it each day. In his name, she would believe in everything people say, she would play small love games her friends played, although never considering her love a game. the card she bought him is so precious, did i say she bought it for him?? she was never going to give it to him anyway, for that was the only thing she had for her love, in some way for her also. it reminded her of him. The love he planted in her heart was her responsibility now, n she was determined to take care of it.

Now when its not the same, she cries no more thinking of why they cant talk anymore. Either she is left with no tears to shed, or she is no more troubled by the same for nothing can change what he means to her. He may be miles away, silent n befuddled, she might never see him for long time, but a firm belief comforts her that one day he will come............ off course she has fairy tale world in her with happy endings.....Till then, she ll have memories of their times....till then, the silence may prevail.....

...................

2009-06-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

....there's always a way out, all we got to do is learn how to break the bars......lights r fascinating n its even better to be a fascination urself.....break the rules once in a while, u might end up finding new laws...

....till i know what the limit is.....

2009-05-12T04:55:00.000-07:00

So high i want to fly, fly n just fly till i say it ain't easy being a bird....See the world till the wind blinds these eyes........Cry till all the pain n guilt is out.....Laugh till i forget what crying is.....Play till there's no song left unplayed .........Sing till i strike the highest note......Feel the chill till i m numb.....Walk till the road ends......N love someone till they start loving me........so badly i want to break those internally made barriers............to test those extremes......to face my fears...... to test my limits........n see, if there really does exist something called LIMIT or not!! Try till i forget saying "I CAN"T do it"!!

............There aint anything we cannot do!!! There aint a limit.......!! We will always surprise ourselves by doing something we thought we never will do n this is what called the soul of the most beautiful thing known....... Life!!

Guddia!!

2009-05-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

This is Guddia!!!:)

buried dream

2009-03-23T05:36:00.000-07:00

Pretentious time granted me a wish,
now time itself is taking it away,
n here i stay,
moaning the day when i accepted the unaccepted play.

all said n done, Amen!!
it was beautiful,so i opened my wings when the breeze blew.

n then the moment came
to curse the past,
for my dream decayed fast.
N when i tried searching,
there was no gleam,
to help me dig out
my buried dream.......

.............

2009-03-07T04:44:00.000-08:00

"Dreams that remain faceless are the best ones if u think that you can't confide your dreams in one face"

Someone told me to think over this, and i m still thinking.....

Passion..... turned.....baby steps.........Cycling!!!!!!

2009-02-07T19:25:00.000-08:00

I have always been an amateur sportsperson. in 7th i started playing table tennis n decided to represent my school, n liked playing badminton with my mom, n also played 'wild' basket ball in 10th, in 12th i indulged in 'painful' volleyball. But one thing i knew i will do great at was cycling n it still is my passion. However, after falling off my wonderful cycle in 7th standard, i broke my collar bone, n also my cycle. After recovery i started it again n it was much fun, but my cycle wasn't fine, so sometimes my jeans would get stuck in the chain, sometimes tyres would give up n many other problems. So i gave it to this guy who really liked it. I gave my passion away. Since then i never owned a cycle. However, last time i visited home n told my dad how much i want to have a sports cycle.......
When u really want something in life, u get it, yes u do!! I kept yearning for a cycle, and wow!! Soon after i went to college after winter break, i saw this huge poster of a bicycle rally to be held on 28th January. It was for students of NSS but anything for a chance to cycle my way to sukhna that day. I asked my friend to write my name for that, she doesnt know cycling n told me she would sit on the back seat of my cycle. It was going to so much fun. every single person on cycle on City Beautiful's road fascinates me:P
So the day finally arrived. In the parking lot of college, there were around 30 cycles n we were asked to choose. BUT BUT BUT..........man!! They were HUGE!! HUGE!! My teachers told me to go for a big cycle coz there were girls shorter than me. So i got one of those not small cycles, damn!!
The rally started at 10 am. Lovi, who i was supposed to carry came n sat. I was like "stop, i cant even get on this cycle". I was befuddled, what the hell was happeneing?? Lovi held my cycle till i finally managed to get on the seat. N when i started........God.......i couldnt even maintain balance . " What the hell r u doing Eesha", Lovi screamed as i turned my cycle in the opposite direction where around 10 girls n a teacher were standing.They ran crying out load" kya kar raho ho aap??" n my cycle was running after them. The teacher frowned at me. i was amused, others were ready with their sticks to beat me up:p. But that wasnt my mistake, felt like cycle was controlling me, i was like a cycle learner, A LEARNER??

Finally i managed to balance my cycle in the right direction, but soon saw this car coming straight, n i fell, my first fall of the day, but its okie!! "Eesha tune mujhe lijana hai, wait for me", Lovi was running after me. After that i felt i have regained my skill,yey!! but then came another hurdle.......A journalist who was ahead of my cycle stopped his car and intended to click picture n ask something. Now who could explain him my condition, i just asked him to stay away coz his bones could be in danger. Jyoti, my other friend on cycle came back after taking a complete round of gedhi route. I was still there!! We kept laughing like idiots looking at each other n Lovi could kill me that time. How could i carry her!!! On that, 2 girls were asking for my cycle, thought i would never reach Sukhna. But i knew i will:P!!

Now Lovi on Jyoti's cycle, we started off together, we were on our own roadtrip. Rally was long gone ahead. But Jyoti couldnt manage to carry Lovi, since she was also acting like a learner. College students on the way kept coming ahead of our cycles n i wanted to tell them clearly that if they dont want to be in a hospital, then it would be better if they dont block me...We stopped for a few minutes to do something about our dear Lovi's transport who warned to beat us when we get back to hostel. And then this girl on scooty stopped by n took Lovi with her. Now, it was me n Jyoti on our own masti trip.
Everything was going great, i was back, comfortable:). But then came another ghost, the most dangerous so far- A round about. In Chandigarh, roads r very crowded and rash driving in fashion i believe. I didn't know how to manage crossing that, but whatever!! I thought its the last round about of my life. I turned my cycle n.............lost control..... a honda city was just after my vehicle. Thank God!! good man in the car stopped immediately. I turned back n apologied. he must be thinking what an idiot on the road. Other's life was in danger, my life too off course, but that would have been entirely my fault if anything else had gone wrong. I was with Jyoti after sometime. Everything was going 'makhan ki tarha' smooth till i looked away n my bicycle shook, n there i was peddling in the middle of that extremely crowded road. My road trip buddy kept screaming "Eesha tu pagal ho gayi hai kya, kahan ja rahi hai tu" but i was like...completely out of control, i felt
'this is it' kinds:P.....that day cycle was controlling me:P

After 20 minutes we reached Sukhna Lake, thought Lovi will kill us both there n then but she was too amused to look at us!! We thought we r the last ones, but no, there some behind us also, yayayay!!!
Way back to college wasn't too interesting. Me n Jyoti were first this time, but that stupid round about!! aarrggg!! We were last then. N this annoying teacher of ours kept moving her car ahead of us, so silly. So many times i fell n the moving pedals stroke against legs. But its okie, we had time of our life. We kept laughing that day. I wondered why those things happened to me. May be because i rode a cycle after 9 years.
The day for me is unforgettable. Keeping lives and bones at stake, i peddled down the roads of Chandigarh, assuming i would never reach Sukhna. But i was wow, also learnt a lesson that only practice makes a man perfect, n no matter how good u had been before at some task, if u don't practice, ur perfection rusts in an anon...
Love ya Lovi, Jyoti, Shawal, Surbhi, Sonali..This post is dedicated to my awesome college/hostel friends, love u endlessly guys, don't know how life would have been without u all!!

Happy 2009!!!:)

2008-12-31T18:55:00.000-08:00

Happy new year everyone:)- Kanu, Naaz, Sidharth, Rushabh, Vaibhav, Mayank, Bhawana, Hobo, Prakhar, sam, santanu, Ayushi, casperbaba, Eveline, sachin n every1:), have a great year ahead:)

Guddhia!!

2008-12-25T22:51:00.000-08:00

This piece of writing is for Guddhia, a physically challenged girl we r making a documentary on. She sells clips, caps, socks, pens etc in Chandigarh (sector 17).' But if u're wondering why r we shooting a documentary on her, then there's no single reason to talk about, she is like ...........blessed.

We all r disabled some or the other way n at times we all complain about it, we curse!! But life is different for Guddhia, she is thankful to God for giving her Life. She says she felt bad one day when she thought of the fact that she is an orphan, but it occurred just once. She is the youngest of the 2 sisters n earns for the whole family. And the best part of the meeting was that......u don't realize anything is wrong, it's like talking to any other independent happy girl, n wow, she has perfect accent both in Hindi n English (though she doesn't speak much but she understands it all), her lovely face has a million dollar smile, she is like.......she can smile for hours n we smiled looking at her. Meeting her didn't bring a feeling of pity, but something that woke me up all night, i thought of her n realized how thankful she is. The more u have the more u want, less u have, the more u give.
She has less, at times she cant even have lunch, but she has no complains. At times she even lends money to those who need it, ignoring the fact that she herself is in dire need of it. She doesn't dream much as she put it!! She has only one true dream, she says. This year, she didn't celebrate Christmas, n the reason is the Mumbai terror attack. when we asked her why is she letting go her favorite time of the year, she replied " my brothers n sisters r suffering, how can i celebrate??" . How many of us might have ever thought like that!! Being honest, i never did. Love her courage n will.

Well if i have to describe her in a word, it would be- thankful. This 25 year old is happy with whatever she is getting n is living without complaints, she prays for all whenver she goes to meet Jesus in church, she told us. God bless u Guddhia, u r my friend already!!!

Life is beautiful i say,
what if it's a twisted way?
when i ll walk holding me tight,
soul will be one with the eternal light.

I cried, wept,
for earthly Gods soon left,
but who said there were no u?
you departed but left ur angels few.

No regrets, no complaints,
for i work for my grains,
don't look n let ur face fall,
i never complained of not getting all.

Children, marriage! I've stopped thinking,
my dreamy wings r shrinking,
empty pockets! but they say dreams don't cost a penny!!
They do! ask those who've seen shattered many.

A part of me has no life,
all i have is a will to survive,
n a hope to take me through,
that one day my unique wish will come true..

"i m happy!!!" Naaa.....we r happy!!!!

2008-12-23T03:05:00.000-08:00

Happiness is only real when shared.....how much i have learnt from Christopher McCandless n his life......

We met n years just flew away.....

2008-11-15T20:48:00.000-08:00

We cried when we came here, we would cry again, this time direction would be opposite......

Each moment the mind jumped back,
a second in here a crusade,
now packed bags, dewy eyes can't stop saying bye,
when tired, i ll sit under our memories' shade...

Happy Diwali:)

2008-10-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

Happy Diwali everyone:)-Kanu, Naaz, Sidharth, Rushabh, Vaibhav, Bhawana, Mayank, Prakhar, Santanu, Ayushi, Eveline, Hobo n to all the other bloggers of the world......!!!

When sun plans to hide behind the hills of Shimla.....

2008-10-26T20:16:00.000-07:00

We ll keep on fighting till the end......

2008-10-24T19:30:00.001-07:00

At times failure becomes so frequent that u feel like a loser, victory seems to forget ur way. At first "this is the first time i have lost a game" would go, but first time has passed already. Now there's constant lose. U cant remember the last time u won something!!! Even if it was something big u were so proud of, u start believing that it was just a fallacy. You become lethargic n fear ever attempting to do the thing which in past u could do in some seconds. U were best at ur work n addicted to win. An optimist waits for the glorious day...... but if each passing day makes him feel more miserable about himself, he loses hope also. Then there r just good old days to remember when there was no sunset, sky smiled at u, flowers fluttered back n forth, birds sang the winning songs, everything was just perfect, dark evenings n heavy rain failed to depress u. Now!! It feels like everyone is conspiring against u.......

But then!! One, just one win can make you rise again. U r back!! Faith regained. N then....... come what may!! Even if u fail next time, u have that win to live for n huge amount of energy to bear the failure n strive for the win again!! U r not meant to fail after all:)!!

Defeat defeats,
when the faith dies,
success comes through,
when u live for one more try.....

.......thats why Ram ji is God!!!

2008-10-09T19:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday i saw Ramleela after long time. It was dusherhra so it was Ravana dehan. N i was so enlightened to see how even Lord Rama folded his hands n bent down to give the last message to Ravana. God himself had put the shroud on the Lanka King. God!!! God can bent for an evil!! Can we derive from this that God forgives all, as Jesus Christ said??

Sometimes even we cant leave our ego aside and accept our mistakes!! ( not saying this in context of Ram ji, off course Ravana had to be killed by Him). Its just a matter of prudence, being genuine, or maybe reaching 'self actualization' according to Maslow's need hierarchy!!! What can be a better example of the saying ' only a tree laden with fruits bends down'!!! Passers by sit in its shadow n birds live in its trunk holes....

Dushehra

2008-10-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

Today we ll burn Ravana like we've been doing for ages. Radio channels r asking listeners about how good always wins over the evil. Children around r in the competition of who makes the better n bigger Ravana n burn it the better way.

Ravana is a symbol of bad and evil. Its strange to think that someone can get such a punishment n defame for just one wrong deed. Otherwise, there was no learned man as him, i mean, who had 4 vedas on finger tips??

Just one sin!! What about us?? We do so many!!!

It is said by Krishan ji and is also written in Shri Guru Granth Sahib that we become what we think of at last moments of our life. And so, if we remember God that time, we ll get Moksha. It is correct indeed, but.......do we really reincarnate as the thing we think of when we r about to die?? So many sins, so many lies, will be forgiven by just remembering God that time??

Happy Dushehra!!!!

Yummy Ice creams, bad throat!!!

2008-10-07T22:01:00.000-07:00

:(, ice cream!!! I love it but why is there an old animosity between ice cream n my throat:((??

"i believe that 'ice cream' tastes so good because its bad for u", :((

But............... we can do gargles immediately after eating it na!!!:)

Someday!!! we gonna rise up on that wind ........Someday....

2008-10-05T23:35:00.001-07:00

Gone

2008-10-03T21:20:00.000-07:00

I looked up at u,
fumbling words!! What to say?,
Eyes filled with tears,
trying to believe the day.

Tears were born,
not in sadness,
i was just happy,
in my own madness.

U came home,
after days, long wait,
but there u were,
face burning with hate.

If u were else,
i could say goodbye,
but yours is a friendship,
i cant buy.

Go! Go to your place,
i wont mind u didn't care,
I ll forget your hatred,
like a dreamer forgets a nightmare.

What was Brownie to me, what were WE to her??

2008-10-01T22:04:00.000-07:00

I: Mom we must help these lil creatures!!
Mom: yeah but what if he litters around in the building or bite anyone??"
I: he wont, n even if he does, i ll clean it up"
Mom: But Beta we cant have him as a pet"
I:WWWWWWWhhhyyyyy not??

Then there was one endless cry....

This used to be a usual conversation of me n mom. There was not even a single pup i would let go when i was a kid. I used to take them all to my place, feed them, play with them.......but then it was time to leave them, somewhere away from human colonies, the hardest part:(

But there were some who i never left outside our colony. One of them was Brownie. Brownish yellow healthy female dog who was probably the most beautiful stray dog i had ever seen. As soon as i would come to know about any dog n its new born pups, i would rush to their place along with my 2-3 friends. N remind u, they were our friends. Can anyone dare to lay hands on any dog's pups without knowing the mom:P?? We knew Brownie's mom Julie n so we got her:).

When she was young, i used to take her home n play with her there itself. My parents love animals too n they never rebuked me if Brownie urinated on our mat. Best thing about this dog was that she didnt bite anyone ever, i wonder if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

When she grew older n was about to give birth to lil cute pups, people around started shooing her away by whatever means they could. That doesn't mean they liked any dog before,but now was a big excuse. N what came next was completely uncivilized and shameful. Some kids of not more than 9 years, who didnt even know how to clean their running nose, saw Brownie one day. She must be sitting somewhere under the sun since it was the month of February. N even today when i think of it, i shiver like anything. She was to give birth in some days n these kids dropped a big brick on Brownie's abdomen, n then there a chuckle in that evil air, as if it was some achievement. I swear, i wasn't home or i would have killed those kids, or i should say if i were there, it could never happen.

This big incident was enough to scare the lil thing away. She did go away but i found out where she was n went to play with her pups regularly, yes she had pups, Thank God! Even after going through all those horror moments, she never hated us, she was lovable as ever. Whenever we went to see her, she would come out, wagging her tail n licking my face, all she wanted was love, sometimes she didn't even eat. But there was no return to my place. Being honest, i never wanted her to because we wanted her to live, live happy, away from cruel humans, so called homo sapiens!!!

Now she was away, living somewhere near Chemistry department in HP university, its not far so we found here again. We always saw her standing outside chai wali shop in Summerhill, waiting for shopkeeper to feed her, he was generous. N whenever we saw her there, it was a party. Then it was again time for new cute pups. This time also we managed to find her. So every evening me n my friend would go to see them, with milk bottles for lil babies n breads n chappatis for their mumma. It started getting colder. So one evening when my dad was coming back from office, Brownie was up there on the elevated portion crying out loud. She must have seen my dad n would be asking for food. But no!! Not food. Some of her children had fallen down from the top, 2 of them were stuck in the bush. She was asking for help from papa. Off course we all loved her, so papa held those helpless lil babies n they were home in a few minutes with bread packet by their side.

Our colony was like the favorite place of doggies. Soon Brownie's babies were there in our colony. But Brownie was still there, always noticed standing outside that shop. But this time when we saw her, she had lost her charm, she became victim of some skin disease. She had lost her hair n became incredibly lean. When we saw her n she saw us, she rushed to meet us but never ate anything. At least she was there, our dog with pink nose.

We decided to take her to doctor one day since she was getting weaker n weaker. But we couldn't find her, neither outside the shop, nor anywhere else. We thought its over.

In the first week of April when I passed on to 8th class, we saw Brownie while coming back from school....... n it was like........one of the happiest moments of my life but....... it was painful to see her, she was bleeding from everywhere, i couldn't do anything, but felt some water in my eyes anyhow.

That was the last day we saw Brownie. We didn't have to wonder where she was. We knew where she was. Humans couldn't tolerate her, like we never do. I feel so ashamed at times that i m a human, i belong to a species which is so intolerant n cruel. Brownie came to live with us, she learnt to live in peace by never harming any of the people around. This is not just about her, its about all other animals. But we, how can we spare a dog when some of us cant even stand our neighbors, when grumble about keeping our parents with us when they grow old....

Why do we forget that we all r gonna die one day n our bad deeds wont be forgiven?? But that's what we r, crazy breed!! Some of us don't like dirty dogs, they say they r infectious?? They love clean pups!! Its like saying i love u only if u r clean n beautiful, otherwise go to hell!!!Humans!!! crazy indeed!!! We come back from a religious ceremony, distribute prashad to everyone but if some dog lingers around, we give it a kick shot n say "stupid dog".

I miss u Brownie for u were the loveliest creature i had ever seen (just like my Pingu-langur that comes to our window, she was there a minute before, muah!!)....

When will we learn to be tolerant??

Creative writing COMPETITIONS???

2008-09-26T06:08:00.000-07:00

Can we judge creativity?? why do schools and colleges have painting, poem writings, story writing competitions?? They say they nurture the writing skills!! What??? Can we change anyone's eternal being or feelings?? Then a winner is declared, but what does it mean?? The other person's (especially child's) feelings n creation is wrong or not as good as the other?? What the hell?? Can creativity be measured?? Why do we get judgmental when it comes to creativity?? Its so subjective, isn't it all about the kind of world we have within us?? How can we ever judge it n declare 1st, 2nd, 3rd??

Can't be numb

2008-08-16T00:20:00.000-07:00

So satisfied, so free, so elated. But when i see u, i realize Pain is not felt only when its mine....... Ur bruises hurt me more than my happiness makes me feel good!!!

Ignored Innocence, love......

2008-08-12T20:29:00.000-07:00

When u are gone , I realize why u came..... The time u were around, ur caring irritated me, expression of love looked funny..... Now u r gone..... no more annoying baseless talks, no more time wastage, there's no more u. But I miss u for u loved me oh so much. Can anyone do that?? Does anyone bother to see??

Its so good to be loved, but its even better to realize it before...

Politics in Relations

2008-08-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

August 3,2008

Passion, an undefined energy which keeps u moving since the moment ur sockets open up to the world till the yawns finally push u into a slumber. All u dream of is ur passion, passion, passion.... Sleep fails to break connection u have with ur dream for its the same with eyes open and close....Reminds me of a person i came across in school.....

She looked behind and saw everyone following her. She had a passion. She looked different with her entirely outstanding looks; and who doesn't like to be different? Her commanding voice made all loud noises whisper...And if you happen to become a victim of her anger, you would never dare to open your mouth again in front of her.
Her relations with the important people around were pretty decent. Above all, she had a passion of a thing that made her this strong, daring and fearless about the future. Even though she was authoritative and straightforward in front of others, she displayed fair friendliness towards me and we often indulged in to philosophical talks, discussed about good movies, music (although her liking was entirely different but i loved how she always liked what i made her listen to), and we often relished coffee together. But I never thought we could be great buddies. How could i??

We all thought she could be a great leader. Fire in her belly to bring a change in the world accelerated her passion and i was sure she was going to bring a revolution. But what would be the pathway and the source?? What about the consequences?? At What cost?? Thats what the questions were....
People she cared for were not many. She befriended very few around; since she remarked they were all special in some way or the other. She learned from the qualities of a person, not the person himself. All her friends had certain special qualities in them. All had to shining stars in the crowded night sky. But.......Not as brighter n bigger as she was!!! For the sake of saying, they all were friends......

It was okie!! Anything for friends. But more or less, they were like tissue papers, soft n helping, placed in a fancy core cover, knowing they could meet the unfortunate end anytime. She had it all, she wanted to jump into politics to reconstruct the nation but what about retaining ur relations n valuing ur friends?? She knew the game, friends were mere puppets who when lost their parts in the show, were kicked out n someone better was invited in. Ideologies she revised never placed her in a court of law where all the ex friends longed for justice. She was always right n her loud commanding voice was enough to make another law out of it. Her friends acted like someone she needed desperately to talk with n have someone to tag along with. As she walked with her life, she bade goodbye to all her friends n found someone else, more inspiring n intelligent. Conditions applied to Friendship!! Do we need only perfect people to be our friends?

No care for anyone, she just kept her dreams in front of her eyes, went ahead making new friends, no oldies allowed!!! She always poured her heart n mind out in front of me, although i was never one of those unfortunate ladders. I couldn't call her a friend. As i write it, do i need to mention the reason?? She loved having good relations with the accomplished person so that she can approach them for help n can get the work done....That's it??

I know she will become what she wants to, good way, she has it all to be one!! But what about all that u leave behind?
At the end of our days, we count our success, smile n feel proud. We forget the modes we employed, the broken trusts n love. May be because we were so engrossed in the self-made image and ignored the truth that we r sinking like a ship in a sea with nothing to save us. So perfect in our game, then also couldn't win it. Are relations as dirty n unstable as politics??

The Tale of an Unborn girl

2008-08-02T05:57:00.000-07:00

July 26, 2008

You dreamt of a boy,

no sooner than the wedlock,

but the sunny days passed, admiration stopped,

i was to come out as a shock.

The beauty you fell for,

fantasies of happy hour groomed,
ended up spiked in coffin,

because i was seeded to bloom.

Yawning there inside her,

planned my vocations when out,

then heard a miserable cry,

no one Else's but my mother's shout.

She held me safe,

fed me, filled my tummy,

Daddy you never cared or loved me,

i disliked you when you kicked my Mommy.

Conversing with her there inside,

heard her unheard sobs,felt her tears,

wondering what's the sin, what's the matter,

Am i, a little thing, this huge fear??

Her womb was a safe home,

i waited the arrival of the day,

to grow as a bud in your life,

trying to fill your days with gay.

Love never found it's way to me,

Mom described your face at my detection,

since then grabbing chances to kill me,

nip me before inception.

But curses, denial ended soon,

she was taken to doc,

the day had come, the bliss for the unfortunates,

my breathe was pulled out and blocked.

Now i m here, in my heavenly abode,

still wandering 'that' travel's hurdle,

the pain she went through,

just to bless me life and cuddle.

The story had its

separate facet for me and her,

she was a woman , i was to be one,

but the scene of my birth was blur.

I m not alone in this crowd,

Yes! It is crowded here,

God wont send me back he says,

your brutality even he fears.

What if i had lived,

had seen the world with my eyes,

would have been your glory,

being unremembered of all those horror cries.

But you snatched life from me,

you escaped your duties,

now live to see the end of the land,

you havent left this world any beauty.

I wanna thank u (I sing it for u all)

2008-07-19T01:02:00.000-07:00

After many depressing days in hostel during exam time (result is out n i dont care anymore), i didn't expect my vacation to be as good as it actually turned out to be. This holiday has been my best so far. Now its time to get back to college, miss my Shimla, get baked in the sun but also meet my buddies!!:). I want to thank everyone i met during this time.
Thanks to all those who made it even more special, acquired so much knowledge from u all. Thanks to everyone at my temporary office including Ashwani Sir, Hema ma'am, Rocky Sir, Jagu bhaia......few more i don't know the names of, who taught me what i always wanted to learn in an incredibly brilliant manner. Then thanks to some other amazing people like Varun bhaia, Naaz, Rakesh Bhaia who i came across in this holiday, though unspoken from either sides. Huge thanks going out to my best friend Anjali ,good friend Varun, penfriends Alicia, Jorinde, Ireria di, Rush.......N grand thankie to my Pingu (she is a langur who's visiting our window since 2004) for always bringing me a big smile, never biting n for always visiting,........... I also relished some of the best n unforgettable moments of my life.........

N above all, to 3 most important people to me. Mumma-Papa n Bro. I Don't think i can ever thank u for whatever u r to me or be formal saying that....but cant imagine my world without u!!! N u bro! i know u would read it so forget it, hehe!! God bless all......... Merci beaucoup:)

Peace!!

A journey to the old home after 17 years

2008-07-07T05:37:00.000-07:00

May 27, 08

A journey to the home
where i once played,
sand, trees my friends,
I enjoyed under the Devdar shade.

I have grown up listening about my childhood acts like most of the people out there. Sometimes i open up my treasure including dolls who got their haircut right away when they were bought and also asked my mom to weave some sweaters for them since they might catch cold in the winters of Shimla :P, I did this all when we came to Shimla 18 years ago and lived in Tuttikandi. But left it after an year and shifted to our present apartment.
Today i woke up to a sunny morning of May and decided to take a trip to our old home in Tuttikandi (its not ours anymore). Managed to convince my mom and brother also, rather they were happy. So when we reached Ek So Teen, from where we had to stroll down, i was happy but couldn't remind anything, bro remembered it all. Oh my God! The road was like never ending but i thoroughly enjoyed it since it was beautiful, specially that dazzling straw which lied unevenly scattered over the concrete path, it shined even more when sun rays fell over it, n those huge devdars were so adorable, it was............wow! Mom n bro kept talking about how the way has changed so much, i had nothing to talk about my childhood days coz i dont remeber anything, still i loved listening. The idea of digging benches at some spots is great since one's tongue can certainly come out climbing the way to Ek So Teen but that time it was no less than a subject of amusement for me n bro as we started imagining how people can finally take 'chain ki sans' at the sight of those life saving benches.
Finally we reached our destination, we stood outside the house which was our house on rent once. That along with other adjoining house was the only near by house. Anything which was near was 'Lali hotel'. At nights (even during day hours sometimes) the surroundings were panic stricken. Mom told me how i used to sit outside n play with sand all day n cried when there was snowfall n questioned how the sand had turned white? The old orphanage is still there. In the evening when papa used to get back from office, they used to take us to the zoo n we used to go on our bicycles. When we reached there, it was so down the main station that i actually realized why my mom used to get really tired holding me in her arms n walk all upto Ek So teen (i was a chubby kid n denied moving to anyone's arms except my mumma n papa). I cant say all the memories came flashing back but i mom did say that. They loved that house but had to shift because of us, school would have been too far.
Then came what i was waiting for longgggggg time-the animals. I dont admire the idea of keeping animals in a zoo but i love animals anyway. 17 years back, when we lived there, mom reminds that lion roar was audible till our home. I was quite excited to see lions but there was none. We saw 3 leopards n 6 beers, really cute beers and the white thick lining around their neck looked like some coat, incredibly cute beers. Leopards hardly paid any attention to our being there, didn't even look at us for once:P. Else it is now Monkey Sterilization center so there were lots of monkeys arrested in there:P. But i m sure no one needs to go there to see them:P.
Now, the place looks completely contrary to what it was that time, mom says. Now its thickly populated. I loved the way from our old home to the zoo (if u don't move ur eyes to the left where all one can see r the houses n houses n houses, it appears even more irritating when sun rays falls on those building). How much Shimla has changed!! There was a time when even a light on a hill far away relieved u that there is someone else who lives there, no matter far. i wish i was a bit old to understand the things around me that time. But whatever! I love it anyway!
So it was a great day today, after years i managed to see where i lived once in our small heaven encircled by natural beauty all around, where my parents witnessed the heavy snowfall in 1991,where i played endlessly and also got one of my all time funny pictures clicked where i got caught in the reel crying after getting smeared with colors on Holi.

Favorite Quotes

2008-07-04T01:46:00.000-07:00

"With confidence in God, put on the spurs and let the wild horse of life fly with you, over the stones and hedges, prepared to break your neck, but ALWAYS WITHOUT FEAR"
-Bismarck

How important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once...
to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, facing blind, deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your own hands and your own head. . .

"If you want something in life, reach out and grab it."

"Happiness is real when shared"

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall"

India

2008-06-30T19:58:00.003-07:00

June 28, 08

Ages ago there was a birth,
the saints, the prophets grew,
the sky guided the robber,
to carve the epic, so pious and true.

The country all stepped on,
bird of gold stolen, so was ledum,
but couldn't steal the strength and compassion,
sweat watered the tree of freedom.

Folded hands, heads bowed down
is how our land greets,
child's smile and husband's love
is still the woman's treat.

Two hundred years buried down,
but moral reached the pinnacle,
respect runs in our veins,
never bound anyone in shackles.

Religion, caste, white and black,
our festivals color all in fun,
different in the name of Muhaamad and Ram,
in the name of Bhagat, Azaad we are One.

Dreams reaching the stars,
still touch the feet of elders,
where woman is most beautiful in sari,
where Shrawan carried parents on shoulders.

We are born in God's own abode,
where bells and hymn welcome the dawn,
I nod to you my Mother land,
may i take birth here, if i m again ever born.

'Dhano', Hero No 1 has no one to carry on their backs!

2008-06-28T02:48:00.000-07:00

I keep wondering how do horses (any animal) feel when we humans sit on them. Do they like it or they feel irritated?? How would i feel if someone sits on my back?? But I think i still have to wonder, till the time i don't learn to communicate with them.
Horse riding in Shimla is age old. It started at the time of British rule when Shimla was the summer capital. Standing tall and handsome, there are 18 horses on ridge, working at a stretch for hours and carrying mostly little kids on their backs. For just Rs.20, they will bring a big smile to a child's face, making him tell about it to everyone he will come across. Besides a usual common ride from the main spot on ridge to Asiana and back, horse rides are available to Jakhoo temple and sometimes to Advanced studies also. It was nice to know that the they are taken care of properly with attention on their diet. They are fed on grams everyday. Also when they catch illness, they are taken to hospital and given decent treatment.

Gopal Singh Negi is the owner of a beautiful horse 'Dhano' (Yes! One of the other horses is named Hero No 1, too cute) on ridge. He says that summers is the most valuable season for them because most of the tourists hail at this point of time. But premature rain has spilled water on this occupation as well. Inflow of tourists to Shimla has reduced to 15-20 percent because of untimely rains, hitting hard the tourism industry and off course these horse owners.

District Tourism department Shimla gives an account of several reasons for less tourists pouring in. 5 to 6 degrees fall in temperature in Delhi and NCR is one of the causes of this sudden decrease. Gujjar protest along with hike in air fare is another argument. Though rain is the biggest nemesis of tourism this season.

Being one of the most attractive features of The Ridge, it is expected that seasons to come will again bloom their business, their only mean of living. Again i wonder how horses would be feeling at this time, with their backs all free,allowing the air to touch upon them and no burden to carry other than theirs! But I know they won't mind if you go near them, show some love and give a hug, and yes! Who knows, you may get a chance to see them (not so Colgate) smiling at you?

An excerpt from my diary

2008-06-27T00:18:00.000-07:00

March 31, 08

No Fear

Amusement parks are great hangout places and see the rides going absolutely haywire and people going crazy screaming is funny. I can actually feel how much their throats pain after screaming so loud, with their vocal cords trembling like a person without warm cloths in the spine chilling cold of Siberia. But i love cold n so i love the rides. It doesn't require a second thought to figure out the fear gone through that time, but.......what if we decide not to be afraid! Its not because we love rides but because some of us learn how not to be afraid.

Whenever we confront situations where we almost feel our heart sinking or coming to our mouth, we fear death. Why not to go beyond and think a lil more. There could be two extents when we fear-one is that "hey! no matter what, i ll get out of it", the second- "i will die". First situation tells us to go ahead and give a head bang to fear, it says u r safe and u can have thrilling memories of it in ur mind after you go through it. In the second situation, you will die, either in pain or suddenly. But whatever! why to over think the second situation? If we just go on and fear anything, we will never succeed. Lets go saying come what may! In case we die, its our adventure that killed us n if we survive, we have actually survived our fear! It prepares us for life, to take on challenges and learn our limits which is certainly not limited to a lizard scaring us (in my case, monkeys!, :P). I think that was what Mr. Christopher McCandless did, he went on to do what most of us won't ever do , that made him what he was, fearless, brave and a hero (YES).

"Its not important to be strong, but to feel strong"

I don't fear,
No matter what it may be,
all i should fear,
is the devil in me.

Face the situation,
experience the 'fear'
don't let it stop u,
unimportant is scream or tear.

Fear of lying,
resist the wrong,
let anything find my way,
Inside i m so strong.

Being me

2008-06-26T20:48:00.000-07:00

December 27, 2007 - Thursday

I sit down in the dark,
with me and no one around,
wondering what i want to be like
I talk to myself and emptiness profound.
Pondering upon my worth,
combating right and wrong,
my heart speaks out,
that my life is my song.
Melodies are mine, mine are the weird tones,
both travel in the same boat,
if I play melodies always,
who will play uncanny note?
Trying to be like someone
i want to be,
Pushes me into the effort,
of not being me.
I may certainly become,
what i like,
but who would be like me,
is the question that strikes.